


We're parabati. We're brothers.

by CaliberRose



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, jalec - Freeform, rated explicit for future chapter(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-25 17:48:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16665403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliberRose/pseuds/CaliberRose
Summary: Alec chokes on confessing to Jace how he really feels about him, but when someone Jace loves gets killed in action, Alec takes this as an opportunity.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place shortly after the scene with the memory demon where it is revealed that the person that Alec loves the most is Jace. Also after Clary kisses Jace as Alec watches.
> 
> It's kind of funny because in my last fanfiction, Clary and Alec are intimate and in this story he literally can't stand her.

Alec was training, alone. Something he hardly did once his family had taken in Jace. Jace his parabati. His brother.

 

_'I love you too, Alec. Come on man, we're parabati. We're brothers.'_

He hit the bag harder. He had choked. He had the chance to tell Jace; to come clean finally after all of these years. And he had faltered. Maybe he didn't want to tell Jace. Not now, not ever. It'd never work anyways. It was against the law; and the law was the law.

 

"You're going to hurt yourself," Isabelle told him coming into the room.

 

"Not anymore than I already have," he murmured to himself.

 

"Jace, Simon and Clary are still out on that mission. I figured I'd check up on you," his sister continued.

 

"I'm fine." Alec rolled his eyes at the redheads’ name. The name of the girl that Jace loved.

 

"You're not. We haven't spoken about yesterday." Isabelle perched herself on the weight bench. She wore a tight red number with black heels.

 

"Going somewhere?" Alec asked before he hit the bag again.

 

"Don't change the subject Alec; I know you're hurting. You just have to own up to your feelings." She crossed her legs.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," he hissed.

 

"Don't do this Alec, don't torture yourself over Jace kissing Clary, don't-" she was cut off by him.

 

"No, you don't Izzy. Don't tell me what to do, don't care so goddamn much. Just go.” Alec turned his back on her.

 

"I'm just trying to help. That's what I'm here for, for you Alec, because I love you," Isabelle told him. When he didn't respond she sighed and stood. "I'm here whenever you want to talk." She left the room. Alec panted and unwrapped the tape from his hands. He got in his fighting stance and began to practice punches against the air. He didn't know how long he had been practicing til the doors banged open. "Alec." It was his sister again.

 

"I'm not interested Izzy," he hissed at her, not looking her way.

 

"It's Jace and Clary, there's been an accident," she said, hurriedly. Alec's head snapped up and he rushed past her. He made his way to the centre of the institute. Simon and Hodge were carrying Jace.

 

"What happened?" Alec growled at Simon, stopping him in his path.

 

"We were ambushed." Simon and Hodge moved around him, carrying Jace, but Alec kept up with them.

 

"Explain," Alec ordered.

 

"It was only supposed to be one demon, but it was a nest. 7, no- 8, out of nowhere and we were separated. All three of us," Simon spoke in fractions of sentences, tears running down his face. It was then Alec realized that Clary wasn't with them.

 

"Where's Clary?" He asked, even though he didn't really care.

 

"She- she's gone. I couldn't get to her on time," Simon choked out.

 

"You were supposed to have her back," Alec snapped.

 

"I know," that was the last thing he said before he and Hodge lay Jace down on his bed.

 

"Is he going to be okay?" Alec asked. He was surprised he hadn’t felt anything from Jace, from their bond. He had been too wrapped up in his own pity party to notice; he cursed himself.

 

"You need to take a step back Alec," Hodge spoke, stiffly.

 

"Tell me, is he going to be okay?" Alec tried to push past Simon, but the vampire stood his ground. "Move," Alec growled at Simon who just crossed his arms.

 

"The runes aren't healing him," Hodge told him. "Alec could you gather a cloth and a bowl of hot water, I need to clean out his wounds."

 

"Simon, go," Alec ordered, he refused to leave Jace.

 

"No, Alec you go," Hodge said, sternly.

 

"I'm not leaving him," Alec replied.

 

"Alexander, go," Hodge ordered. Alec didn't move. Simon finally left and came back with what Hodge had asked for. The older man started to clean Jace's wounds. Simon, broken because of the lost of his best friend, huddled on the chair in the corner. Isabelle, who seemed to just appear, began to comfort him.

 

* * *

 

 

Days passed and Jace didn't wake. His wounds had started to heal, but he remained unconscious. Alec and Isabelle sat by his bed, never leaving their brothers side. One night when Izzy had left to speak to one of the fair-folk, Alec realized that Jace may never wake up. Alec took Jace's hand in his, the thought leaving him shaken.

 

"You have to wake up," he whispered. "You can't leave me. You're too important to me." Jace's eyes remained closed. Alec sighed and leaned in closer to whisper softly: "I love you. I've always loved you. But I could never tell you; and I guess I'll never be able too. But at least I've said it once, out loud. At least now I've accepted it. You'd never accept it but-" Alec cut off as Jace's hand moved. The blond blinked slowly and looked up at Alec.

 

"Alec?"  He breathed out. Alec smiled and let out a sigh of relief.

 

"You're okay," he whispered. “Thank the Angel.”

 

"Where's Clary?" Jace asked, sounding hoarse. Alec held his breath.

 

"You don't remember?" He responded.

 

"I remember the demon nest, the ambush, losing sight of her and Simon, then-" Jace frowned. "Where is she? Can I see her?" The desperation and love in his voice made Alec take his hand back. After death Clary was still getting in his way.

 

"She's dead Jace, she was killed," Alec said in a low tone.

 

"What? No!" Jace sat up too quickly and winced in pain, holding his side. "It isn’t true, right, Alec? Please, tell me it's not true!"

 

"I'm sorry." Alec looked away, "I can't."

 

"No, but she was right there. I could have- I should have-" Jace dropped back against his pillow again, his face falling.

 

"Simon's more or less okay," Alec inputted even though Jace hadn't asked about the vampire.

 

"I can't think, I need to- are you sure she's- this can't be real." Jace stumbled over his words.

 

"Do you need some time alone to think?" Alec asked already reluctantly getting up.

 

"No." Jace grabbed his arm. "Don't leave me." Alec sat back down before taking Jace's hand in his.

 

"We'll get through this, together," Alec said, softly.

 

"Together," Jace repeated before his eyes slid close again.

 

2 weeks later Jace was still unable to fight or do anything really. His wounds had healed but he still felt the pain from the loss of his love. His first love. He locked himself in his room and wouldn't talk to anyone. Another week passed and he had blocked his emotions off; he was mostly back to his old self. Cold and lifeless; emotions were for the weak.

 

Alec was training alone, again. He paused to take a sip from his bottle, but found it empty to his dismay. Jace entered the room, thudding the doors open. He was shirtless with a towel thrown over his shoulder. He didn't even glance at Alec; didn't even say hello. He just went to the rack against the wall and pulled a thick stick from it.

 

"Do you want a partner?" Alec asked him, setting his empty water bottle down.

 

"No," Jace grumbled flatly as he hit the dummy with the stick.

 

"Too bad," Alec said, "I would have kicked your ass anyways." Jace looked at him then before grabbing and tossing his parabati a stick.

 

"You're all talk; you've always been all talk." Jace smirked and swung at Alec who blocked his attack.

 

"You've always been a sore loser." Alec hit Jace's side with his stick causing Jace to wince.

 

"Takes one to know one." Jace feinted a left but swung a hard right, smacking Alec's hip. The dark haired boy stumbled back.

 

"You think you're so smart." Alec poked Jace's stomach hard with his stick.

 

"I know I am." The blond grinned cockily and slammed his stick down on Alec. The other boy held his own stick over his head and blocked the blow. Alec swung his stick as quick as a snake and knocked Jace's feet out from under him. The blond hit the floor on his back hard, letting out a grunt. "Bastard," Jace muttered. Alec grinned, his grin faltered when he found himself in the same position as Jace. The blond pressed the wood against Alec's throat. "Give up?"

 

"Never." Alec tried to push the stick from his neck but the other boy didn't budge. He choked, swallowing hard.

 

"Forfeit," Jace growled, pressing the wood down harder against Alec's windpipe.

 

"No," Alec hissed, hoarsely. He pushed Jace off him and rolled on top of the blond. "You forfeit," he demanded. Jace pushed at him, but couldn't get him to budge. Alec realized how close they were then, his eyes flicking down to Jace's lips. He felt himself lean forward.

 

"Alec," Jace's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

 

"You win," Alec grumbled before getting up. "I'm gonna go shower." He left the room leaving a confused Jace. Alec entered his own room, shedding off his clothes. He turned on the cold water and stepped in. He gazed down at his erection. "Too close," he murmured.

 

 _Never again_ ; he thought. Alec washed himself, cleaning off the sweat and dirt. He then washed his hair. Afterwards he stepped from the water; he wasn't sure how long he'd been in there until he heard a clock strike nine. There was a knock on his door. He answered it only in a towel, water droplets scattering down his chest. He opened the door to reveal Jace.

 

"I want a rematch," the blond said.

 

"Why? You won." Alec walked over to his dresser to find clean clothes.

 

"We have a mission from the Clave so it'll have to wait," Jace told him.

 

"What kind of mission?"

 

"That demon nest has been growing, it still needs to be exterminated," Jace said.

 

"I'll be down in a moment," Alec told him.

 

"Are you alright?" Jace paused in the doorway.

 

"I'm fine," the dark haired boy lied before shutting the door on Jace. Alec got dressed quickly and joined Jace in the centre of the institute. "Where's Izzy?"

 

"Still out on her own mission," Jace answered flatly.

 

"Can we handle this with only the two of us?" Alec wondered. Jace, Clary and Simon hadn't been able to do it.

 

"You got my back?" Jace asked.

 

"Always," Alec answered automatically.

 

"Then you have nothing to worry about," the blond smiled and went to gear up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec confesses to Jace about his feelings, but things don't go too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Chapter 2! Hope you like it! :)

 

Alec gathered his arrows and bow before meeting Jace at the front. They walked to the demon nest in silence. When they were outside of the building, Jace turned to him. "Are you ready?" He asked.

 

"Yes." Alec nodded, "Are you?" Jace didn't answer; instead he opened the ragged looking door and disappeared inside. Alec followed him closely. They walked down a long, dark hallway, checking each room. About an hour later they still hadn't found any trace of any demon. "Are you sure this is the right place?" Alec wasn't one to doubt Jace, but he had begun to worry.

 

"I'm positive." Jace opened the last door at the end of the hall. It was a big room, empty except for a few chairs and a body. "This is where we were ambushed," Jace whispered. His eyes seemed to fixate on the body and he moved forwards. Alec moved with him, keeping close. Jace turned over the body after a moment of hesitation. It was Clary. She blinked and opened her eyes. Alec moved a step back from them.

 

"Jace?" She whispered with a smile. "You- you came back!" She hugged him. Alec looked away before nudging Jace.

 

"It's not her, Clary is dead. It's a trick, it's a demon," he muttered. Jace didn't seem to be listening, he was hugging her back. "Jace! It's not her!" Alec spoke louder. Clary's eyes glowed blue at him and she smiled. Alec held up his blade and her eyes became green again as Jace pulled back and blocked Alec.

 

"We have to kill-" Alec started, but his breath caught as he looked to Jace. The dark haired boy froze. Jace looked heartbroken.

 

"Just for a moment can you let me believe it's her?" Jace whispered to Alec, before looking back to the demon that looked like his lost love. "I miss you," he said, softly. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

 

"But you're back now!" The demon beamed. "Have you come to save me?" Jace nodded and hugged her again.

 

"I'm sorry," he muttered and then slowly slid his blade through her chest. The demon screamed.

 

"She was very tasty," the demon said, hastily. "She screamed and screamed for you, but you never came!" The demon went up in flames and smoke.

 

"Are you okay?" Alec asked Jace.

 

"Let's get going; the nest is gone, Clary's gone." Jace moved around him, and walked from the room. Alec followed after him without question. On the walk back though, Alec stopped Jace in his tracks.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked him.

 

"There's nothing to talk about." Jace went around him, walking quick but stiffly.

 

"You loved her and she died," Alec called after him. "I know what it's like to lose somebody Jace, I can help you."

 

"You don't know anything Alec, just leave me alone." Jace kept walking.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec sat in his room on his mattress, quietly, in thought. Jace hadn't spoken to him since they'd gone out to clean out that demon nest. He was lonely without his friend, his parabati. He couldn't think straight. Isabelle had tried talking to him, but he wouldn't listen. He shut her out, just like Jace had shut him out. And it wasn’t fair to her, he knew that, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop doing it. Finally Alec couldn't take it anymore; he left his room and went straight down the hallway to Jace's room. He knocked a few times and when there was no answer, he let himself in. Jace sat with his back facing Alec, neither of them said anything. Alec walked over to Jace and crouched in front of him, looking up into the blonds’ unique eyes.

 

"Jace?" Alec asked, softly. Jace seemed to stare right through him. "You can't ignore me forever." Alec tapped Jace's cheek, but the blond didn't move. He kicked his shin, lightly, but Jace still didn't do anything. Alec leaned his face closer to the other boys. "Jace please," Alec whispered. Jace didn't blink. Alec cupped Jace's face, stroking his thumb along his cheek. The blond remained silent and still. Alec leaned in the kissed Jace's cheek and the shorter of the two still didn't move. Alec moved his mouth to the side, leaving a few inches between their lips.

 

"Alec," Jace finally said, but Alec wasn't listening now. He couldn't hear anything over the pounding of his own heart. He wet his lips and leaned closer. Jace grabbed his arm halting him. "Don't," Jace warned.

 

"You're not alone Jace, you've never been alone," Alec whispered. "I can give you what you need," the words seemed to be pouring out of him without his permission. "I can give you everything. Let me give you everything."

 

"The only person that could give me everything is dead, and you could **_never_** replace her," Jace spoke with a cold tone. Alec's eyes met his and the dark haired boy staggered back. His chest suddenly felt empty, but heavy. "Just leave me alone." Jace returned to staring into space. Alec left without a word; he perched him back on his own bed in his room. He felt tears wet his eyes as they formed and fell.

 

_What have I done?_

 

He'd confessed his feelings to Jace. And it had been the biggest mistake of his life. Alec pressed his hands against his forehead and let out a broken breath.

 

".. _.and you could never replace her_."

 

Alec got up and tipped over his bed with a loud thud. He threw he bedside lamp at the wall shattering it. He wasn’t sure if he was angrier at Jace’s words or at his own confession. He pulled the drawers from his dresser and threw them at his windows. Finally, exhausted, he slumped against his overturned bed.

 

"Jace, I love you," he whispered, before drifting off to sleep.

 

*  *  *  *  *

 

Alec awoke around 9 in the morning. He showered and got dressed before going down to the central part of the institute. He hadn't slept much; he'd been up numerous times. Isabelle eyed him from across the table.

 

"You have bags under your eyes," she commented.

 

"I'm fine," Alec lied. He felt empty. "What's on the agenda for today?"

 

"Nothing yet. Maybe you should eat something," his sister suggested. Alec got up and went to the kitchen. As soon as he spotted Jace he turned away, but the blond had seen him.

 

"Alec!" Jace called jogging up to him.

 

"I'm not in the mood." Alec busied himself with looking through the cupboards. He pulled out a banana and began to peel it to eat.

 

"Are you alright?" Jace asked, sounding worried.

 

Alec wanted to hit him, "I'm fine, just tired."

 

"We don’t have a mission yet; you should go back to bed." Jace smiled. Alec couldn't believe the way Jace was acting. Yesterday he had been cold and heartless, and now he was smiling and cheery.

 

"I am." Alec turned and left before Jace could say anything. He made his way back to his room, tossing the banana peel in the trash before tipping his bed back over. Alec lay on the mattress and closed his eyes. A moment later there was a knock on his door. "Go away," he muttered. Jace opened the door and stepped inside.

 

"Can we talk about yesterday?" He asked.

 

"There's nothing to talk about," Alec replied flatly.

 

"I wasn't feeling good, I hardly remember talking to you, but I must have done something to upset you." Jace sat beside Alec on the bed.

 

"It's fine, I forgive you," Alec muttered.

 

"You really don't." Jace chuckled, "I'm not blind Alec."

 

"You are. You're so blind to the way I-" Alec cut off and turned his back on Jace, rolling onto his side.

 

"I know about that Alec, I'm not blind," Jace repeated as he touched Alec's shoulder softly. Alec could feel himself slipping. He sat up and turned back to Jace.

 

"I meant what I said yesterday," Alec told him. "Every word." He reached up and touched Jace's cheek.

 

"I know, but I don't feel the same Alec, I don't think I ever will," Jace's words were like a knife through his heart.

 

"At least give it a try," Alec pleaded. Jace didn't answer. Alec leaned in and kissed Jace's cheek, the blond didn't move. Alec moved his lips to the side once more, but Jace stopped him.

 

"Don't," Jace told him. "I can't do this." The blond stood up.

 

"Jace..." Alec stood as well, but Jace was already moving towards the door. "Please stay."

 

"I can't Alec, I can't." Jace left the room. Alec frowned and sat down on his bed. He touched his lips and lay back on his bed. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. His heart thudded in his chest, he needed to relax. Alec got to his feet and changed out of his clothes; he then pulled on a shirt and grabbed a towel. He made his way to the lower part of the institute where they had an in-ground pool. A few laps and he'd feel better, he hoped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec swims to relax but when Jace arrives to confront him, it turns out to be even more relaxing than swimming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Last Chapter! Sorry I took so long to update (or maybe I didn't... it has only been 9 days, but that seems long to me soooo) I hope you enjoy the final chapter! :D

Alec pulled off his shirt and slid into the pool after setting his towel down on the bench. The dark haired boy began to do laps back and forth length wise. By the time he finished his laps his fingers had began to prune. Alec slid up out of the water and sat on the edge of the pool. 

"Jace is looking for you," Isabelle's voice startled him; he hadn't heard her come in.

"I don't have time to deal with him," Alec told her.

"What's going on between you two? You've been acting-" he cut her off.

"I don't want to talk about it, Isabelle!" Alec exclaimed before calming himself down.

"What's going on in here?" Jace entered the room.

"Nothing," Isabelle snapped before leaving.

"She doesn't deserve that," Jace told Alec who rolled his eyes.

"I don't either, Jace," Alec muttered before sliding back into the pool.

"You need to calm down," Jace said, following along beside Alec who began to swim laps again.

"I am calm," Alec growled, pushing through the water.

"We need to talk about you and I," Jace said suddenly.

"No we don't, there's nothing to talk about." The dark haired boy began swimming the other way.

"You have feelings for me Alec, just admit it," Jace demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Alec slid from the pool, wanting to get some distance between him and the blond, and walked over to his towel.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Jace grabbed his arm, "Look at me Alec." Alec looked at him, giving him an icy glare.

"Let me go," Alec said, stiffly.

"Not until we talk about this," Jace hissed back.

"We don't need to talk about anything." Alec pulled his arm away.

"Alec, I'm sorry," Jace said, "I’m sorry because I don't love you, not like that." He seemed persistent to talk about this _right_ now.

"Just go," Alec whispered.

"Not until we talk about this," Jace said.

"Alright. You don't love me; you're still in love with Clary. But she left you, she's gone, she's-" Alec cut off as Jace hit him hard across the face. "You need to learn to let go, you need to let her go, Jace-" Jace punched him again. Alec spat blood into the wet floor and shook his head. "Clary's dead, and I'm not, and I-" Jace right hooked him across the face hard enough to make Alec fall to his knees.

"Shut your mouth," Jace gritted out.

_ And I thought you wanted to talk about this,  _ Alec thought to himself.

"I can't replace her." Alec stared up at him. "Don't you know that I know that?" Jace seemed to visibly calm down, his shoulders slouching.

"I'm sorry," Jace muttered looking down at Alec.

"I'm sorry too," the dark haired boy whispered not meeting his eyes.

"I'll go." Jace turns from him.

"Please don't leave me." Alec said, even though only moments ago he hadn’t wanted to be in the same vicinity as Jace. The taller boy got to his feet and started towards him.

"Don't, Alec." Jace stepped back.

"It's been so long, so lonely these past few weeks. My _parabati_." Alec moved in front of him.

"You're my brother Alec," Jace started.

"You're my _adopted_ brother, Jace." Alec reached up and gripped Jace's collar, not threateningly but tenderly.

"We're still brothers, we're parabati, and I'd die for you, I'd do anything for you. But not this Alec. I can't, I'm sorry." Jace gripped Alec's hands with his. Alec stared at Jace a long time before pulling him close and kissing him. Jace didn't move, didn't kiss back, but he didn't pull away. Alec pulled back and rested his forehead against Jace's. "I'm sorry," the blond repeated. Alec moved his lips back to his and parted Jace's lips, slipping his tongue inside his mouth. He tugged at Jace's shirt, somehow getting it off a few quick movements. Jace watched the shirt drop to the floor. He looked to Alec who met his gaze straight on. 

Alec pressed his mouth to Jace's neck and whispered the words: "I love you, Jace, I've always loved you.”

"Alec, I-" Jace cut off as Alec's lips reached his chest. "I can't," he whispered.

"Then watch me," Alec said. He kissed down Jace's torso, unbuckling his parabati's pants before sliding them past his knees. Jace didn’t even move.

"Alec, we can't go back from this," Jace pleaded with him.

"I don't want to go back if this is what I can have." Alec kissed Jace's thighs, tugging the flesh softly between his teeth. Jace visibly shivered and the dark haired Lightwood smirked. "That's it; let your body speak for you." Alec turned his attention to Jace’s cock; gripping it and stroking the length with one hand, feeling it harden under his grasp. Jace bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"Alec, please," Jace's tone had changed. 

"Tell me what you want," Alec whispered, breathing on the tip of Jace's penis. His eyes were dark as he looked up at the blond.

"I want... I want Clary," Jace murmured.

"Well, she's not here. She won't be able to make you feel like this." Alec leaned forward and sucked the head of the cock into his mouth, his teeth scraping the soft flesh. Jace shuddered and gripped Alec's shoulder. Alec hummed in satisfaction and slid Jace farther into his mouth. 

"By the Angel," Jace swore under his breath. Alec smiled around the blonds’ cock; he could feel his own penis reacting to the interaction. His erection making a tent in his swim trunks; Jace noticed too, and swallowed audibly, eyeing it. “Maybe, we should be-”

“Jace,” Alec muttered exasperatedly, cutting the other boy off.

“-doing this someplace else,” Jace finished. Alec pulled back and looked up at him.

“Oh,” was all he said. “Here is fine.” The dark haired boy shook his head.

“What if someone walks in? What if Isabelle catches us?” Jace asked, holding his gaze.

“Let her.” Alec shrugged. “She’s known for a while that I’ve felt this way about you.”

“How long has she-” Jace cut off with a short gasp as Alec’s mouth closed around his cock again. The blond collected his thoughts and breath, before finishing his question. “How long has she known?”

“I told her before we became parabati, before the ceremony,” Alec confessed. Jace stiffened in shock.

“I knew you felt about me this way for a while, but I had no idea that it had been _that_ long,” the blond told him. Alec shrugged again.

“I almost didn’t go through with the ceremony because of my feelings, she convinced me otherwise.” He smiled around Jace’s member before taking it farther down his throat. The blond gripped the taller boys’ shoulder and let out a low groan, his eyes sliding shut once more.

“I’ll be sure to thank her later,” Jace murmured with a soft chuckle. Alec ran his tongue up and down the blonds’ length, slow and teasingly, causing the other both to grunt in frustration.

“I don’t want you to cum just yet,” Alec told him, leaning back, the dick leaving his mouth with a pop. “I want you to release yourself inside of me.” Jace’s eyes snapped open at those words and he looked down at him.

“Wait, what?”

“I want you to fuck me, Jace.” The dark haired boys’ eyes darkened more as he got to his feet, towering over the blond.

“I don’t- I don’t know if I can do that, Alec.”

“I’d top, but I think it’d be more enjoyable for the both of us if you did,” Alec told him. Before Jace could reply, Alec was kissing him again. He felt like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Jace tasted like honey and toast - from breakfast, probably - and he enjoyed every second of it. This time Jace did kiss him back, his hands on the taller boys’ shoulders. Alec slid his hands to the back of Jace's head and pulled him closer, moving his lips against his, deepening the kiss. Jace pulled back, suddenly, catching his breath.

"Alec, maybe- maybe I can't do this,” he sounded panicked. “I don't love you like you love me." Jace's hands halted him. 

“Do you think you could though?” Alec wondered, holding his gaze. Jace stared back at him, thinking. He hadn’t really thought about it before. He’d never seen Alec like that before; but was there a chance that he could? Jace swallowed.

“I don’t know, Alec,” he finally muttered. Alec looked down and nodded, going to take a step back. No matter how much he wanted this, or how persistent he had been before, he wouldn’t dare force himself onto Jace. He loved and valued him too much for that. His parabati caught his arm before he was able to move away. “But I’m willing to try,” Jace told him, looking up into his blue eyes. He hoped his eyes conveyed how much he cared about Alec and that he really was willing to try to reciprocate his feelings, at least for the next hour or so.

“Are you sure?” Alec asked, searching his face for any doubt. Jace nodded.

“I’m sure,” he said. Alec’s face broke out into a smile and he kissed Jace again. The blond slid his hands into his hair and was the one to deepen the kiss this time. Alec groaned against his lips and gripped at his waist. The blond hesitantly reached down to touch Alec’s erection, he touched it gently.

“You can be rough with me,” Alec told him as he kissed Jace’s neck. The blond nodded and gripped at Alec’s cock more firmly causing the other boy to hiss softly. Alec pulled back and before Jace could question what he was doing, he was lying out his towel on the tile and getting on his hands and knees.

“This is really happening,” Jace whispered to himself with a nod of his head. “I don’t have any lube,” he said, lamely.

“Your pre-cum should be adequate,” Alec told him, leaning forward, pushing his ass up into the air and bowing his head to the floor. Jace bit his lip and came up behind him. He rested his hands on the waistband of Alec’s trunks; he paused for a moment, but it was long enough for the older boy to notice. “It’s still alright if you can’t do this, Jace. I don’t want to force you,” he said. Jace shook his head and pulled down Alec’s trucks, revealing the other boys’ bottom. Of course Jace had seen Alec’s ass before, they _had_ grown up together. The blond reached out and ran his hand over the pale flesh, Alec shivered under the contact.

“I need to, um- open you up, right?” Jace asked. Of course everything else was fine, but asking that question had been uncomfortable. He shook his head with a silent chuckle at himself.

“I should be fine.” Alec shook his head.

“Have you done this before?”

“No.” Another head shake from the dark haired boy. “But I’ve played with myself before; I’ve had other things inside of me.” The image made Jace’s cock stiffen, even though he didn’t really know why.

“Oh,” he said. Alec’s tone had been so casual, but Jace felt his own cheeks grow hot. “Okay.” He nodded. Jace stroked his cock, mixing Alec’s spit and his own pre-cum together to use them as lubrication. He rubbed his tip against Alec’s hole and the other boy bit his lip. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready for a long time, Jace,” Alec told him. “Please don’t make me wait any longer.” Jace obliged, pushing the tip of his penis inside of the other boy. The entrance was tight, _really_ tight; it was a struggle to push in the rest of the way, but with Alec pushing back against him, it was easier. Jace moaned softly, gripping Alec’s hips. The taller boy let out a small whine and pushed back against his cock, trying to feel him deeper. Jace kneeled there for a long moment, without moving. Finally Alec spoke: “I’m alright, Jace, but I won’t be if you don’t continue to move.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Jace rolled his eyes at himself and pulled back slightly, his cock sliding out of Alec a bit before he pushed back inside of him. Alec let out a throaty moan and bowed his head again. Jace could already feel that he wasn’t going to last long; what with the oral sex from before and how tight and hot Alec felt wrapped around his member, he definitely was not going to last. Alec seemed to realize this and gripped his own cock, beginning to jerk himself off. Jace pulled back and pushed inside again, before he started to rock his hips back a forth, picking up a rhythm.

“Fuck me,” Alec hissed, pushing back against him, his hips and hand keeping up with the blonds’ pace. Jace leaned down, his chest against Alec’s back, and kissed the back of his parabati’s neck - that he could barely reach because of the height difference - causing the other boy to shiver. Jace rotated his hips, grinding up inside of Alec who moaned loudly.

“I thought that’s what I was doing.” Jace chuckled, thrusting inside of the dark haired shadowhunter. Alec at the towel beneath him and began to shake against the blond as he stroked his own penis, his actions becoming frantic.

“I’m close,” he breathed out, bucking back against Jace. The blond nodded, even though the other boy couldn’t see, and sped up his own movements. He watched as his cock repeated appeared and disappeared inside Alec’s tight hole. Jace’s member started to pulse and Alec clenched down on him. The dark haired boy let out a soft cry as he spilled out over his hand and towel, his body shaking with the release. The noise was enough to drive Jace over the edge; soon he was emptying himself inside of Alec who groaned at the feeling. The blond pulled back, sliding his prick out of Alec with a sigh. Alec bowed his head for a moment, catching his breath before he turned around to look at Jace. The dark haired boy grinned at him and the blond returned the look with his own smile, panting loudly.

“Well, that was...” Jace faded off, breathing hard, his chest rising and falling quickly. Alec placed at hand over his parabati’s heart, feeling it race. He leaned forward and caught Jace’s mouth with his, kissing him passionately. Jace sighed into the kiss and gripped the back of Alec’s head. They pulled back from each other, locking eyes.

“It was amazing, you’re amazing.” Alec grinned again, widely. Jace bit his lip and chuckled softly, shaking his head.

“I’ve got nothing on you,” he said. Alec ducked his head, heat rising to his cheeks. Jace smiled at the sight and tipped Alec’s face back up, fingers under the pale chin.

“We should, um... we should probably get dressed before someone walks in,” Alec told him. The blind nodded and gathered his clothes before dressing. Alec pulled his swim trunks back on and got to his feet, picking his towel up. “I should probably get this into the laundry, but um... Can I see you later?” He bit his lip with wonder in his eyes.

“I’ll come by your room around 10pm?” Jace suggested.

“I’ll see you then.” Alec nodded with a smile before pulling Jace in for one last kiss. The blond touched his hips tenderly, returning the kiss softly. The taller boy nodded again and left the room. Jace bit his lip, watching him go. He waited a few minutes before leaving the room as well. 


End file.
